Goals Revise and edit and punctuation
I wrote this story to work on my punctuation and editing
We were coming in to land in Aussie. It was really windy. The wind pushed the plane over. Shhh BOOM! dead blood “Just kidding didn’t die nearly though”
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When we were at wet n we went down on a circle. The slide had no roof. We went flying out and we started spinning. “we all fell out blood shut down ride closed”
Me and my brother were playing a real life gun game.My brother hit bullseye so i turned and shot him bang bang! Just kidding.
When we were on the rollercoaster the rollercoaster went off the rails and tipped upside down and we all broke our necks. DEAD!! “Just kidding.”
When we were flying back to New Zealand a whale nearly jumped up and hit the plane. When we landed.“we nearly hit a raccoon i mean possum because NZ”.
When we got of the plane we were the last ones off. “We nearly were on next flight back to Aussie”.
Me and my brother were playing around in countdown in the shopping carts. zooooom. he let go and I went straight into a shopping shelf. When we left I yelled “cleanup on aisle two please. Just kidding.”
Me and my dad were kicking a ball. He kicked it so far up we thought it would not come down so we left. The ball came zooming down and i was hopping in the car. It hit my head and i went into the ground.
I was lost in a shop. So i kept on walking then i went outside the shop. I saw my car moving so jumped on top of it. I hopped in and i said “hi mum” “ahhhhh” CRASH
The End.
